that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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