It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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