4 words: hood of his car
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
