I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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