i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize