3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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