So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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