yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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