did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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