he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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