12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
