Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
