it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize