No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
