I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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