Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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