i wish my penis had a tongue
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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