Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
