Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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