Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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