Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize