So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
