so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
