I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
