hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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