So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
did you just send me my own nude
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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