I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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