Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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