Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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