More tranny stories later!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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