you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
