So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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