You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
