Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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