She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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