She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Even my vagina gasped.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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