your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
