White coat. Heels.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
