I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
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Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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