I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
sex in a hospital.. check
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
