yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
