I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
