Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Randomize
