He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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