can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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