NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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