It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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