sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize