8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
birth control should be required to get into college
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
