Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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