i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
did i walk over a car last night?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
