remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
