OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
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Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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