So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize