Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize