If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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