Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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