Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
