im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
