im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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