I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
