Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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