I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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