Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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