Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
