I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize