My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize