I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
