Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
