New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
