if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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