i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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