I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
