the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
